I don’t know why I’m still sitting here. There’s too much in my mind that I can’t say. A pain that remains painful even though I’ve tried hard to cure it. A voice saying that I should just give up.
I seriously can’t understand. There are times in life that I just wanna skip, and there are moments that I just wanna undo. I don’t wanna get involved in some parts of my own life, even though I know I have to.
For years and years I’ve tried my best to hold on, to survive, and to let go things I actually don’t want to. I’ve sacrificed too much, and I’ve received nothing in return. For moments I just wanna be somebody else. People seem to enjoy their life so much, and I don’t know why I cannot enjoy my own.
Well, I know, they say I have to be grateful of what I have received in my life, but… it’s really hard. I’m not the type of a melancholic person, but I can’t hold it in anymore. I just wanna reborn as somebody else.
I’m tired already. All I do is just wondering and wondering every day, sitting here like crazy and listening to music I’m not into. I may have grown the wrong way, that’s why I can’t be called naive if I say I hate people. Literally.
I’ve went this far, and I’ve suffered from too much pain. Lots of pressure is waiting with no mercy in front of me, and series of regret is following me behind. I’m standing on a sharp torn and looking through nothing but fog. I don’t know where to go and what to do.
All I can do is stay here and hope that tomorrow, everything will change.